Doc, It’s Not Just Stress

So, there I am, sitting in my doctor’s office, let’s call him Dr. Sciolist, wearing my emotional support sweater and clutching a list of symptoms that reads like a horror movie script.

I tell him, “I’m waking up throughout the night, crying all the time, rage-y over literally nothing, forgetting why I walk into rooms, exhausted, and basically feeling like I’ve been body-snatched. Could this be perimenopause?”

He blinks. Taps his pen like he’s solving a Sudoku puzzle. Then he says:

“Hmm. Sounds like you might be… stressed?”

STRESSED?!?!?

With all due respect, if this is “just stress,” then I want to see what you look like when your hormones ghost your serotonin, hijack your sleep, and start prepping your body for emotional doomsday.

I try to explain:

• The mood swings

• The anxiety that feels like I swallowed a live hornet

• The insomnia

• The libido that went on a permanent silent retreat

• The brain fog so thick I forget my own zip code

His response?

“Have you tried… journaling?”

Oh! Fabulous suggestion, Doc. Let me write that down:

“Day 462: Still on fire. Still being gaslit.”

At one point, I asked if we could check my hormone levels. You know, the ones that basically run the entire show in a female body?

He looked at me the way you look at a dog who suddenly speaks English. Then, he did it. He actually opened his browser and Googled “perimenopause symptoms” in front of me.

He turned the screen around like a proud toddler showing me his finger painting.

“See? Mood swings, fatigue… Could be psychosomatic.”

PSYCHOSOMATIC.

At that moment, I swear I felt my ovaries flip him the bird.

So I clapped back - calmly, because rage-cleaning later is exhausting.

“Listen. If I told you your testosterone might be low, you’d get a full blood panel, an Rx for TRT, and a gift basket of Viagra samples.”

He went silent. Possibly because he knew I was right. Possibly because he began to research “andropause” instead.

Here’s the thing: if you’re a woman trying to talk to a doctor, and you feel like you’ve wandered into a live-action Gaslight: Medical Edition, you’re not imagining it. You’re not hysterical. You’re not overreacting.

You shouldn’t have to be falling apart to deserve answers. You are the expert on your body. Not because you went to med school, but because you’ve lived inside it through hell, hormones, and high-water emotional breakdowns.

The shift to menopause, aka perimenopause, is gradual. It might take years, and varies from person to person.

But if you’re experiencing any of the symptoms, and they begin to interfere with your daily life, your healthcare provider should assist, not dismiss, you.

There are tests, drugs, and other therapies to help you cope with the transition well before confronting the health risks of menopause, such as osteoporosis, clinical depression, heart disease.

Demand actual conversations. Refuse to be patted on the head and sent home with a “Just breathe and journal” sticker.

Because it’s not “just stress.” It’s a hormonal hostage negotiation, and you deserve to be taken seriously.